Wednesday, February 28

For the word lovers amongst us...
alternate title: this is just too funny!

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti (n):Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seemsmarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after m,finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Do you have any of your own neologisms?


Blogger Paul (probably - maybe Liz) said...


Not quite - but my son and daughter made up these words with me when we were bored once, from a stock of plastic fridge letters ...

Thu Mar 01, 02:07:00 am 2007  
Blogger Paul (probably - maybe Liz) said...

I'm no longer sure quite what he was getting at when he wrote out some of the definitions - but he still uses the word "tidocalm" from time to time.

Thu Mar 01, 02:08:00 am 2007  
Blogger Beck said...

HAHA. Those are great.

Thu Mar 01, 02:25:00 am 2007  
Blogger Grosey's Messages said...

Excellent.. many thanks ( can't afford the Washington Post)besides its two weeks late when and if it arrives (dog can't swim that far).

Fri Mar 02, 08:30:00 pm 2007  
Blogger JamesGang said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Sat Mar 03, 01:53:00 pm 2007  
Blogger JamesGang said...

How about this word...

Scampathy: The ability to listen intently and sympathize with your colleagues when they request assistance, and then to simply, and completely, forget about it.

It's from a neologism game called Verbotomy. Each day we publish a new definition and comic. Players are challenged to invent a new word to match the definition. See it at:

Sat Mar 03, 01:58:00 pm 2007  
Blogger missmellifluous said...

Oooh! Sounds like my kinda website. Thanks for the link and the word. Anyone who has quality links like that is very welcome here. Nice to meet you, James.

Sat Mar 03, 09:40:00 pm 2007  

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